Last week I attended a workshop on "How to improve in Architecture.” A tough one, I might say. Besides having realized that the path will be difficult in every possible way, I had an epiphany at the time of the lecture on Communication Skills.

At the beginning of the lecture I was introduced to the fabulous world of the Laws of Communication, created by a Finnish gentleman who goes by the name Wiio (not to be confused with WII). And what does this researcher of human communication, a specialist in communication skills in business, tells us? Well, basically informs us that we are completely alone, and, as much as we try, we'll always be frustrated in the approach.

This is, indeed, cruel, and it had already crossed my mind. But, when this comes out of an absolutely beautiful woman’s mouth, it leaves us all sadder. At least, I am.

Wiio presents us with seven Laws of Communication, similar in every single way to Murphy’s famous laws:

1 Communication usually fails, except by accident.

1.1 If communication can fail, it will.
1.2 If communication cannot fail, it still most usually fails.
1.3 If communication seems to succeed in the intended way, there’s a misunderstanding.
1.4 If you are content with your message, communication certainly fails.

(As I said, basically we are all alone, which does not surprise me at all. And if you think you are being understood, make no mistake: you are not.)

2 If a message can be interpreted in several ways, it will be interpreted in a manner that maximizes the damage.

(As my grandmother used to say, silence is golden. My japonese friend Mikuri, on the other hand, would say: “If you have nothing good to say, the best thing is to keep your mouth shut.” Where are you Miko?)

3 There is always someone who knows better than you what you meant with your message.

(This is kind of offensive, though I remember it well, when someone once told me “if you don’t see anyone more stupid than you in a room, then you are the dumbest of all. Been there, done that.

4 The more we communicate, the worse communication succeeds.

(I’m perfectly aware that this gentleman is talking about business corporations. But I’m starting to suspect that he might be talking about personal relationships. Be afraid, be very afraid.)

5 In mass communication, the important thing is not how things are but how they seem to be.

(See girl? The looks are all that counts in the middle of a large mass.)

6 The importance of a news item is inversely proportional to the square of the distance.

(Now I finally understand how the media work! Who cares about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, when you can see Cristiano’s new hair-style? Just solve your little problem, enough is enough.)

7 The more important the situation is, the more probably you forget an essential thing that you remembered a moment ago.

(Like, for instance, when you forgot to tell me that you were going to get married, the day after I slept in your bed. Small detail.)

Well, my friends, do not worry, that's not all that bad. We are alone, all right. Probably we will never make us understand, not even with our closest friends. Not to mention our family, those people will never understand us for sure. But, hey, cheer up! If we are alone inside an isolated capsule, we’re free to do whatever we desire: burp in the middle of the street, farting wherever we want, walking naked on the street, on those really hot Summer days or simply not show up for work. We are alone, aren’t we? So who dares to criticize us?

By some strange coincidence, or not, some days ago a friend of mine told me about SIGNS, a short-film, a Lion winner at Cannes 2009, directed by Patrick Hughes. A fabulous essay about loneliness, caused by the lack of communication skills. A comic adventure between two losers who, within their bubble, find a fabulous form of dialogue. Thrilling.

I would love this would happen to me. Some day. Fuck Wiio, that's not even a name.

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